love to love and love and love.

i skipped painting cls today, cramps. oh so horrid were they.

am now on couch in living room with dad, watching tmz, he loooves tmz. dude with the long blonde hair has that shirt i got from gdwill and lost.

is texas the land of my opportunities? or just disappointments. all the hopes i have for it, false hope, little castles of cards i build up here on this island.

sometimes i just don't have things to say. recently i don't like talking to people, outside my family. it's strange, not even online. back and forth stuff stresses me out.

sometimes i watch movies, or tv shows, and see characters and think how much i love them and wonder why the ohter character doens't. and i want him in my life, that character.

like luke wilson in "the royal tenenbaums" i think, aw i want him but then i think wait maybe i already have him? is alex my richy tenenbaum? i mark people in my life as characters but i don't like them the same way i like the actual characters. i think, margot why don't you love richie? but is it the same reason i don't love alex? is it the same?

i'd like to think not, i'd like to think that no one in my life is one of those characters i adore, i like my dreams, my unrealistic expectations.

it doesn't matter if i don't make sense.

i want to make clothes every time i watch gossip girl.

i'm going ot watch my face and get in bed and watch gossip girl and want to make clothes.