all of my whining about how college degrees are useless and how i just want to be creative and blah blah blah.

that's all crap.

i'm just a lazy fool who wants to lay in bed all day with her mommy.

seriously. i'm pretty much regressing and i don't know why?

i'm good t making excuses, rationalizing it and making even myself feel good about it but the truth is

i'm 18, not working, barely doing college and laying in bed all the time.

i'm so tired all the time, both physically and mentally. just so tired and unmotivated. it's ridiculous.

i wish i had some illness to make all of this make sense. make my wanting to cling to my mom all the time make sense.

but i can't. all i can see is laziness, perhaps it's some mental thing, some by product of my screwed up mind.

maybe i'm depressed in my own way. i'm just so unmotivated it's more than that. it's more.