enough with the pity me's my daddy doesn't love me wah wah wah

-It was bound to happen, things were good but then he started drinking tonight. What really really worries me is the fact that one of the main reasons he wants the divorce, he wants to give up his family is so he can drink and get drunk whenever he wants to. And I'm so scared because I know when all of this is final and we all go our separate ways he's probably going to drink alot. All by himself. He's just going to get drunk in front of the tv. I have to push this from my mind, I have to not think and imagine that happening. I want to believe that everyone is going to be happy, that he will get a nice job and just be happy. But I can't imagine a scenario that could paly out that wouldn't make me feel dreadful and to not even be able to imagine something is very depressing. He's the man that led children's groups at church, all the kids loooved Mr. Mike, he was so fun and cool. He's who taught me how to drive and listened to Britney Spears with me in the car always. Now what, he will be alone. Crap I hate this. I hate thinking about it. As much as I wanted this all to happen I never really considered the fact that while my mom and sisters and I all have our happy little new life in Kansas he still doesn't have a job, a place to live. Anything. I just can't think about it. I have to push it aside. I have to remember that this is what he wants. Right?