January 12

1. Today my father cut my mother off completely from his funds, leaving her with only the money she has collected these past few weeks to help start us off when we move. He will however transfer funds for groceries to her account. How lucky are we. He was very angry when he found out about her private account. He's grown more and more childish every passing day, yet when he comes home from work he expects everyone to act as though nothing has happened. He made Lauren cry the other day when he told her he was cutting her allowance in half because "the economy is bad and she and her sisters should feel the hurt too." She just didn't understand why he would want her to hurt. Today he informed my mom that he can no longer "afford" the girls' music lessons and choir. It's not pleasant being forced to live in this house. To not have money, or a way to get it really save a part time job for 2 1/2 months? 2. This whole thing has kind of been the gist of my life recently. It's just really huge. And it's going to be more and more huge as the days grow nearer when we move to a state we've barely seen where we know no one save my uncle and his family. From a family to something very different. Right now it's all this technical stuff. Making copies of things, doing everything possible to keep him from twisting things more. All the technical money stuff, lawyers, bank accounts, alimony, retirement pay, when we'll move, how we will, when will we get any money from him. He told my mom today that he isn't going to "pay for her to sit around on her butt all day." I'm sorry this has occupied so much of what I write about, pretty much all I have talked about these last weeks. It's just...very surreal. I should probably start de-crapping my room and organizing for when we move. I really don't feel sorry for myself for having to go through any of this. I'm just angry at my dad, angry at him giving his family away so he can have a "normal" life. After all these years. To this day he still doesn't think he has or is doing anything wrong, ever. Talking to him is futile, it always has been. No matter if you tell him the sky is blue, if he thinks it's green, he will refuse to even consider it might be blue. Even if it would mean his was mentally challenged to really not see that it was blue he still won't say it. He will roll his eyes and scoff at the idiot who say it is. That's him in a metaphor. That's him in any discussion I've had with him since I've "grown up." I'm really excited to move though. And really scared out of my mind to leave this island that I've grown up on, for 8 years, since I was 11. We're leaving the physical place and also the life we've always had. I'm more or less happy. This colored my day today.