Most likely watching Dark Knight tonight.

Frankly I don't want to all that bad, part of me does but part of me doesn't.

For the same reason I didn't see it in theatres.

It all goes back to his death. It was known that he struggled with playing the Joker, had a hard time getting in and out of character. From what I've heard it was a beyond stellar performance. He had to get into the Joker's twisted mind and when he wasn't filming, you can't always just turn that off. If you could, it wouldn't be much of a stretch from you and your character.

But the Joker wasn't any character.

Ultimately because he couldn't sleep, it was well known that he wandered the streets of New York late at night because he couldn't switch it off.

He took sleeping pills.

And one time, I believe he may have took some and forgot and took some more. Different ones

I do not believe he committed suicide. I do not believe he would leave Matilda among other reasons.

I got into an argument this summer at my job when all of this was really big, one of the "bosses" in my office was talking to another one outside my cubicle about how he wasn't going to see The Dark Knight because he doesn't want to support "suicide".

He didn't want to pay money to support an actor that "comitted suicide."

I then stepped out of my place both as the lowest person in the office and also as my usual quiet self and argued him.

Told him the facts I mentioned above. Counteracted his ridiculous ignorant mindset. I think I finally gave up and from that moment on disliked that old man with a gobble the size of his own head even more than previously.

It really ticks me off the ignorance of people.

So yes, that is why I have been hesitant to see it. Because playing that profoundly disturbing character in some way led to his death. I'm not blaming the character, it's just....it's going to be hard seeing how good he did and why he did that good. Because he committed his entire being to that character and that led to his physical destruction.

On the other hand I am so excited to see Wendy and Lucy although I will have a wait a long time i'm sure becuase of course Hawaii does not get those kind of movies here. I can't wait to move.

Oh if we could be near and Independent Movie theatre. Bliss. I love films. So much.