maybe it's not as easy as i thought. it's supposed to be hard, thu the sacrifice part. the persecution. we're not supposed to want to do it all the time with a smile on our faces.

it's about laying down our life every hour of every day. and accepting that we are mere mortals, stupid children who think they can achieve great things and be things that matter, we are nothing without Him though.

I thought the source of my horrible recurring stomachaches were meant for me to be forced to reflect, and that is what i came up with.

so i hope the aches and sickness stop now. please.