I stopped wearing makeup the past...months. I thought to put makeup on every day was being high maintenance and just reminded me of those fake girls who plaster their faces with the same thing every day.

Ew.

Plus I was afraid it would break my skin out.

BUT. I'm going to start wearing it more, and I need to get rid of alot of my makeup, seriously I have makeup that is years old. I never follow expirations.

It's bad...but this gives me an excuse to buy new makeup in the voice of preventing infection and breakouts.

I also realized I need clothes, not need need but need want. As in I try to create outfits but realize I can't create the looks I want with what I have.

SO since my birthday is on Sunday I will put forth effort into acquiring those things. Basic clothing pieces, and maybe a new mac powder thing becuase mine is old...but I did wipe it a bunch trying to get the top layer off when I started using it again.

Blargh. I usually try to focus on my eyebrows but my hair is more red now and I don't know if making them the same dark willl equal tacky tacky or edie sedgwick.

My moods are so up and down. last night I wrote that happy blog and then less than 15 minutes later i was really depressed about turning 19 and not having anything to show for, not doing anything with my life and I always worry I'm going to end up like Jennifer Aniston in "The Good Girl"

I stay still and the same while my years tick tick by until i go through menopause and I can't even have babies anymore and I'm all like DANGIT why did I forget to have babies.

That was a lie.

As always, I need ot work on my art. I'm still sick. And I've been writing in my journal everyday, I made a commitment to do that, even if I only write a sentence a day, I want to write in it every single day to counteract this thing I have with writin gon the internets.

Oh and that picture is from a few days ago, when I wore makeup (inorite!?). no way right now with my cracked lips from having my mouth hang open for days because my nose is proving to be incabable of helping me with this whole needing to breathe thing to prevent my body from dying.

It's nice, especially my cough.

My Nyquil makes me foggy, sleepy but I also forget stuff and start sentences and not know what I'm talking about. Benadryl doesn't do that, just makes me sleepy. Nyquil is a new ballgame, it makes me even more awkward and strange.

I'm also really mean when I'm sick, tummy sick I'm nice I think...I remember Bekah saying how she likes it when I'm sick because I'm so nice but I have no been so nice, I've been whiny and clingy and acting like a 3 year old, it's weird, i have this tendency to want my way or to get bekah out of my space bubble and when it doens't happen i start...whining/shrieking?

So word to the wise: 

tummy sick- nice chelsea

cold sick- 3 year old tantrum chelsea. her special voice comes into action and lives up to its tone in these times.