I'm really happy.

I'm happy with what's going on in my life, isn't that strange?

Maybe I'm one of those people who likes drama. I can't explain it any other way really.

All the secret plans, the late night talking with my mom, what we need to do, act, wait, when, how.

Maybe I'm just excited for change.

And change this will be.

The biggest change of my life so far, well minus the whole thing when I was 8 that started my life of various issues.

Seriously, it's so far fetched I feel like it won't happen, yet it has to because I won't let it not happen.

The only way I won't is if he truly changes, and the chances of that...pretty much non-existent.

So what is it? What is wrong with me? In three months I'll be moving to some state, I don't know which one. We will probably be living in a separate house than my dad...but how does that work out?

Will he pay for us?

We're going to be poor.

It's all just as foreign as can be. I see the story, the life we may have, I've always known about it, seen it in other people or in movies and tv shows, books but I never thought my life would turn into that, I always thought the life I had now would stay basically the same. The same general storyline of our family.

But we're about to be thrust into a life completely unlike this one, and unlike anything we've ever come close to being. Living.

I really need to work on my art.