How I ache for a close Christian friend sometimes. Even just a close friend.

He's drinking again and without my permission a burden was instantly places upon me, a burden worrying for his well being.

Why is it so hard for me? What if he gets really depressed again? What if we leave and he passes out drunk every day? How can I not feel that?

How can I not feel responsible.

Since it is my thought for him, does that mean that is what I am to do? Be the one in his life to take care of him in a sense.

It's all too much. And it's too isolating.

And for the first time in a while I feel broken, and so so heavy.

I'm waiting for a Fleetwood Mac song to click. You know when you hear the right song at the right time and it just...clicks. You hear the echo of your heart and you can feel it.