nothing

-speak french and spanish fluently

-excel in college

-shave legs at least every other day

-relish solitude

-read even more

-be more confident

-write more. write better.

-stop picking at nails

-do laundry more often

-treat others with love

-see all of woody allen's movies [5 down]

girl names- lux, violet, shiloh, amelie, chandler

boy names- lucas, landon, chandler

i'm nervous about starting college on monday. i haven't been in a classroom environment since i was in 3rd grade.

what if i can't do the work?

i myself know that the lack of college does not make one any less smart than another person, but it's something i want to do.

i think.

i want to be able to do it. to learn and grow in that environment. 

a classroom full of people i don't know. people in general.

i'm so comfortable in the little nest i've created here, in my room. on my bed under a quilt with soft lighting and my lillie cat curled up next to me always twitching and dreaming. there is no pressure, no pushing myself. no actual growth. no actual expansion. except in weight as i need to stop stuffing my face every evening.

even if i can't do it, or more likely i don't want to. i can finish this semester and not go on. for now.

but i'd like to educate myself, whether i use the degree immediately or not, to have that with me for the rest of my life. to build myself something solid.

that's all.