later

people complain so much about not having a boyfriend or not having "enough" friends or blah blah blah.

i look at myself and though i do get lonely i'm pretty content.

you know what? i don't have friends. i have simonne and she's great but sometimes she gets in funks and acts like she doesn't like me, and plus she's married now and that always comes first. it's also hard to grow as a christian with a friend who is...different from me, i think she's a christian but ti's just different, i never want her to feel like im pusing my beliefs on her or judging her at all so i try not to talk about it but sometimes i just want to, you know?

and besides her i really don't have friends. mainly acquaintances, people i may see and say hi to.

i go to school alone, i walk around alone, i eat alone. i come home and hang out with my family. i don't have that one person or group of people that i do things with, or that i call anytime or have plans with all the time.

yet i'm ok. not great but i'm okay.

maybe that bible study will be a place to make friends, though i don't really like making new friends, i hate small talk and that's what making friends consists of...

maybe i don't have friends because i don't fit into the "conservative christian" category, nor the conservative hip category because i'm....sweet? but sarcastic.

i'm making no sense. i'm going to simonne's house now.

ps. look at that freakin sweet earring i made today! the top part is kind of awkward but the bottom is pretty, it's a clear bead and then a real feather.

i also need to start praying for my husband more. he could be making a bad choice right now. or right now.

or just need some prayer. or i could just be praying for an imaginary person and will die or be raptured single.

but let's say i won't :0)