I left for Denverish on Saturday at noon and am now back on Sunday...well technically Monday at 12:20 am.

I didn't sleep well but that's to be expected since I didn't plan on staying there so I had to improvise, like getting a cute outfit at Walmart for only $11! Yeah.
Aaaand I went to 7/11 before leaving tonight and got a big coffee thing just in case it decided to affect me and help me not fall asleep at the wheel and die and it did! I am hyper. Or just affected, I'm affected.
And everyone is asleeping and I'm hungry. Aaand. I miss my monroe and I wish the hole wasn't closed up but I'm too nervous to even check for sure. And I wish I had my ears pierced and Lillie is losing her mind and I was a total fool on the last half of my trip home singing to Taylor in the car, full on "look at that freak in the car waving her hands around and bouncing in her seat while singing the the literal top of her lungs."
And it was sooo dark everywhere and sometimes when I'm around couples, or a couple that are genuinely happy I'm like "no fair I want a boyyyy" and then I think about jealousy and how I haz it.
Oh blah. Oh blah. I'm way too foolish for my own good. I'm a mess, an unbalanced mess and my yeses aren't always yeses and my nos aren't always nos. No's. Yes's.
Sometimes cars die and you have to "help" push them even though you don't want to because you never even wanted to go in the first place and you are painfully uncomfortable.

I have a hard time being a regular friendly person, I need social skills classes.
I don't know how to define myself, isn't that strange? And painfully irrelevent.

Dang sometimes I worry I'm going to marry someone so uncool and it's going to be so lame and then I'm like or God will choose to not have me marry at all and be like Corrie ten Boom and then I try to be okay with that but I'm pretty sure I'm lying even though I don't want to and Jesus knows when I'm lying.
But for serious Jesus I want a man dude. I want alot of things. I feel inadequate and average and unpretty and just less than.
Yeah, I should work on that because deep down I do know I'm a'ight.
Whateevr rrrrr I need to go to sleeepppp. I want to take a shower but I take those in the mornings now (yesssss!) so I can't or my showere schedule will be all messed up and that would be horrific.

Hey it's not so weird that there's not a guy in my life. Hey it's not. And it's not so weird to say the guy in my life is Jesus it just sounds kind of awkward coming out.
Hey.

7/11 coffeeee stuff is so gooooddd. Man I need an awesome job that you do homework at. Ok not need.
I need balance, I'm all I'm going to be set apart then Im all I want to go to a salon and get sparkley nails then I'm all I'm going to be a missionary then I'm all I want to wear makeup and stay here and....have friends or somethinggg.....and buy a purse.
I'm back and forth. I can't commit can I? Oh man I'm bad. Oh man it's not good. Lillie needs some weed or something because she's fuhreaking out.