I'm exausted from lack of sleep and spreading hay around a field/husking corn, which granted me a painful blister. My room is a pit, I have tons of homework due and I am having the hardest time trying to crochet. I also feel like I need to take a shower. And I'm hungry. And this "earnestly praying for someone else" thing doesn't seem to be working.
But it's not about me. I am honestly so lucky. All of these are so good and a dream for so many people. I had the opportunity to help out on a ranch/farm and I was able to see real fresh corn, and shuck it and deem it good or chicken food. It's so pretty. I was able to love on some adorable doggies that were hilarious and beautiful. I got to use a rake and go out in a field and spread hay around and make myself sickly tired but I didn't have to do that for long. I got to help people in a very small way. I got to eat breakfast this morning, and coffee. I was able to listen to my new worship mix cd I made and drive in a car with leather seats and safety. I was able to see a doctor to help my mind and the chemicals in it, even though I'm not in dire need, I have the advantage of people caring enough to help me be the best I can be in that area. I got to eat Chick-fil-a even if it did make me sick. I went to Barnes and Noble, nuff said. I am lucky to have a mom who bought me a wondeful lunch and then desserts at Sonic. She also bought me some starter crocheting stuff, I was able to try and learn how to crochet. I have a family who loves me and one who looks up to me even though she never stops talking. I have a fantastic therapist. I have hope, a guy in my head who I really wish would skiddadle. I'm not ill, I have so much stuff that I don't need that it's filling up my room. I get to go to sleep in a fantastic cozy bed with as many blankets and warmth as I need. I have the best daughter/cat in the world. I get to go to church tomorrow and worship God without any fear.

Most of all I have a future that goes beyond death. I have the greatest privilege of having the God of the universe care enough about me to care what I'm thinking at every single moment and who takes care of me, I don't have to worry, ever. Ever. Maybe I have the privilege of having a future husband out there somewhere, who God is making for me and helping me, alot, to be ready for him too. I am so, so, so fortunate. I am safe from everything in the entire world, both physical and spiritual and every other "al" in existence.

That is the real truth that is so easy to exist when I focus on the trivial things that upset me.